The Unvarnished Truth: Dispelling Common Myths & Misconceptions About Divorce

Going through a divorce can be a difficult and complicated process and it is of vital importance to know all of the facts and to be able to separate the truth from common misconceptions. There are plenty of people who can offer advice from experience or who attempt to apply what they consider “common sense” to draw conclusions about the process, but in many cases this advice is erroneous.

Below we have outlined several of the most common myths about divorce. Being aware of these falsehoods can provide for much smoother proceedings and make it far easier to cope with the various challenges inherent in the process.

• One spouse can deny the other spouse a divorce: While years ago this was the case, it is no longer true. If you no longer want to remain in a marriage your spouse cannot prevent you from being granted a divorce. Although your spouse may be hesitant and attempt to stall a divorce, eventually all custodial, financial, and other issues will be settled and a judge will grant the divorce.
• If your ex fails to pay child support you can deny visitation: Child visitation is viewed separately from child support in the eyes of the judge and, while it may be frustrating, there is an official process for collecting unpaid child support, and it cannot involve you failing to abide by a court order regarding custody. You cannot simply disregard court orders in retaliation for your husband doing the same.
  Divorce must take place in the same state in which you were married: There is no need to travel to the state of marriage to apply for a divorce. That being said, at least one of the spouses must typically be a resident of the jurisdiction in which the petition for divorce is made.
• Mothers are always awarded custody of the children: This was often the case in the past due to societal constructs regarding gender roles, and though certain judges may have their own personal biases regarding parental preference for child custody, it is by no means automatic that the mother will be awarded custody. Visitation and custody decisions are made for the best interests of the child or children without regard to the gender of the parent.
  Parents should “stay together for the kids”: Children are more aware of what is going on around them than many parents fully realize, and living in an environment that is loveless or even hostile can be far more damaging to the children than a divorce, and it could deprive them of the nurturing and safe home life they need and deserve.
• Divorces are always messy: People often think of bitter fights, hostility, and animosity when divorce is brought up, but this does not always have to be the case. Through careful mediation and the involvement of divorce attorneys who are skilled at conflict resolution many of the most complicated issues that arise during a divorce can be settled amicably. Certainly, this is not always the case, but in many cases this is a very realistic goal.
• Nearly all divorces end up in court: Few divorces are actually settled in court, and quality divorce attorneys will do their best to avoid a trial. If both parties can reach an agreement on paper the divorce can be granted without trial, providing significant savings in cost and maintaining a level of good will between both sides.

There is an abundance of misinformation regarding divorce floating around, especially for women, and sorting through all of the information can be a difficult process. Call the Quick Law Group today to have all of your questions about the divorce process answered quickly and completely.