The Holidays And An Unhappy Marriage

Author: Florida Women's Law Group
Date: Nov 15 2021

The Holidays and an Unhappy Marriage

Being in an unhappy marriage is difficult in the best of times but surviving during the holidays can seem almost impossible.  The holidays create a lot of situations where you spend a lot of time together and you feel as though you must put on an act that everything is fine when inside you are miserable.  Add in that every TV commercial or show portrays a loving and happy family, it’s all just too much to take.  It’s no wonder that January sees the highest divorce filings!  If this sounds familiar to you, we have some tips to help get you through the holidays with your spouse.

Tips for Surviving the Holidays

Holiday time can be fun and joyous and full of festive events while at the same time it can be stressful and exhausting with all the demands on your time.  When you are unhappy in your marriage, it can seem like an endless time of misery.  Here we provide some tips to help get you through it all with your spouse.

• Call a Truce with Your Spouse – If possible, have a conversation with your spouse and decide that during the holidays you are going to put all your issues on hold and try and keep peace in the house. This may be difficult, but if you can both agree to not fight and argue for a specified amount of time it can make it a little less stressful.  If that is just impossible, remember that it takes two to argue.  If you decide to not engage and remove yourself from the conversation it can’t escalate.  You are in control of your actions and your words, choose to not be a part of any drama.
  
  
• Focus on the Children – Put your focus on your children and creating happy memories with them. It’s not fair to them to make their holidays unhappy because you and your spouse are having problems.  The tension and unhappiness with your spouse are separate from the children and their experience shouldn’t be spoiled because of it.  If you can both try to keep the peace and emphasis on the children’s happiness you may find yourselves getting along when you are not so focused on the marriage.
  
  
• One Day at a Time – Try to not spend a lot of time thinking about next week, next month or next year. Try and keep all your energy on making the most of this time and not worrying about what comes next.  The holidays provide a lot of distractions and opportunities to enjoy the company of others and your children.  If you spend your time stressing about your future and the issues you have with your spouse, you will miss the opportunities for happiness in the present.
  
  
• Be Flexible and Patient – The goal for this holiday season is to get through it with as little drama and conflict as possible. This may not be the perfect, Hallmark movie Christmas, but that’s OK.  Be flexible with the expectations in your head and remember to make the most of the situation.  If you practice patience and understanding with your spouse, you may get the same in response from them.

The holidays can be a giant ball of stress with parties, commitments, relatives and travel and if you put an unhappy marriage in the mix, it’s even more stressful.  Take care of yourself during this time with exercise, down-time and sleep, it will make it a little more manageable.  Try to keep the focus on making it as special for your children as you can and enjoy spending time with them.

If you are contemplating a divorce, schedule a consultation an attorney to get an idea of how to proceed with next steps.  Knowing what you need to do and having a plan in place can eliminate some of the angst you may be feeling.

At Florida Women’s Law Group, we have the experience, resources and skills to provide you with empathetic and compassionate legal service.  We are here to provide legal advice and the assistance you may need throughout your divorce.  We represent women just like you to help you get through this and onto a better and happier life.